Pixie Nom's

Family

2011-01-27T14:59:00.007-05:00

Here's some new pictures of all of us. The first two are of us all around Christmas time. As you can see in the second picture, Josh and I have very similar senses of humor. It's a distinct, high-class humor, though, so I don't expect all of you to get it.

The rest are of some snow time fun, a couple of Logan pretending to sleep next to Matt (his soon-to-be step-brother), some of Logan looking like Chevy Chase, and then acting like a diva in a skeleton costume from last Halloween. There's also the pictures from Ryan's visit back in July. And it all ends with a cute baby butt.

Click on pictures to see them full size!

Holidays

2010-12-17T06:19:00.000-05:00

I know, it's been forever.

Here's some pictures of the babyman:

He made a much cuter moogle this year.

I have video of him peeing in the toilet and some other pictures to post soon.

I'm engaged!

2010-08-19T15:28:00.001-04:00

It's been forever! I promise I'll post pictures of the baby-man soon. We've been so busy.

I got through my summer class, came out with a B, which is good considering I hate chemistry. After summer classes were over Josh and I went to St. Croix. It was wonderful. It's so beautiful there! The best part of the whole trip though was when Josh proposed to me. I'm engaged! Here's me bragging:

Click on the picture to see full size. I'll post some more pictures from our trip, along with pictures of the Cutest Baby Ever when I get some time. Fall classes have started and I'm taking three junior level field classes, all of which have 2 hour labs with them. So I'm busier than crap.

We haven't started planning the wedding yet, but I'll let everyone know when that happens. So excited!

This is when he's the most loved. When he's asleep and not talking.

Sixteen Months Old

2010-06-13T13:40:00.004-04:00

So many things can happen in a month. Amanda and I started summer classes, we're taking chemistry together which makes it way more fun. It's an 8 week course so it's compressed which means it's a bit tougher. Hopefully we'll do okay.

We're also looking for a new house. This house has been great because of how big it is, but things keep breaking down and it's hard to get things fixed. Mom's found some really great looking houses. I hate moving, though. Especially in the summer.

The big news, though, is that I have a boyfriend. We've been dating since the end of March and it's just turned serious. His name is Josh and he's a really great guy, I know you guys will love him. He's even taking me on an island vacation after summer semester, and yes, I'm totally bragging. :D

Logan is doing great. Running around, causing panic and destruction wherever he goes. I swear sometimes I hear Flight of the Valkyries when he's in a good mood. He's definitely my progeny.

Here are his sixteen month pictures first, and then some other pictures I've taken this past month:

Fifteen Months Old

2010-05-12T12:20:00.001-04:00

Logan is fifteen months old today. I know I haven't posted anything in a long time. Spring classes are finally over and I made A's in everything so I'm very happy about that. I couldn't have done it without Mom and Dad's help watching Logan so I could do my work.

Everything has been going really well. Logan is a crazy kid but he's awesome. Here's a crapload of pictures, starting with his official 15 month pictures: (click on them to make them full size)

Giving Zeus kisses.

Birds have been falling into our small pond in the front yard, and I finally saved one before it drowned. It was so cold and scared that it let me hold it for a long time. Poor birdies.

Fourteen Months Old + Easter

2010-04-13T16:15:00.003-04:00

Logan was fourteen months old yesterday. I also have some pictures of Easter and one video from his birthday and one of him taking his first steps. He walks much better than that now and hardly ever crawls. He pretty much runs all over the house now. It's really cute.

First Steps!!

2010-03-28T00:57:00.007-04:00

Logan's started walking! He started to stand up not holding on to anything a few weeks ago, and taking a few steps. Now he is walking much better, although he still seems a little hesitant about it. I got some of it on video and some pictures of him standing, so I thought I should post them. I've also got the videos from his birthday party.

Everything has been going really good. School is tough but good, I really like my classes, I just wish they wouldn't all have tests the same week, and sometimes the same day. This past week I had two tests, and now this coming week I have three. But that's how it when you take three upper level biology courses that all have two hour labs at the same time.

Anyway, here's the pictures.

He likes playing with Shippo a lot, and Shippo seems to like it, too.

Always fun to play on the big doggie.

Standing like a big boy!

For some reason Blogger won't let me upload the videos tonight. I'm going to have to shrink them and try again, but it's late and I'm sick of it now so I'll have to do it tomorrow if I get time ~_~

Thirteen Months Old

2010-03-12T17:30:00.000-05:00

Logan is thirteen months old today, so I took a few pictures of him going crazy on Zeus. Zeus has really been a good dog with him, he lets him climb all over him and pull his ears and smack him around. He's a big softie inside.

We took Logan to the zoo a couple weekends ago. He seemed to like it a lot. The zoo here is so big we didn't get to see all of it, but hopefully we can go back sometime soon to see it completely.

This week is me and Amanda's spring break (finally!), we're going to Oklahoma City on Sunday to see the memorial and stuff. The rest of the week will probably have me doing my take home test and studying for another test.

Here's the pictures, I'm still working on all the videos, so expect a large post one day soon of all of them.

One Year Together

2010-02-21T20:45:00.000-05:00

It's been one whole year already! I know, I'm a week late posting pictures, but I've been so busy.

School is going good, I had my first tests in Botany and Ornithology. I have a paper due this Tuesday in Plants & Civilizations (which is essentially ethnobotany but they didn't want to scare the freshman with such a technical name) and a lab test for Ornithology on Wednesday.

Logan's party was very, very fun. The cake came out perfect! I loved it. Here's the pictures, and I'll get to the videos one day, I know I suck:

Playtime Pictures

2010-01-31T15:32:00.000-05:00

Logan's birthday is only 12 days away! I can't wait! I'm going to the party store this weekend some time to get all of his stuff, hopefully I can find a puppy or jungle animals theme. I know I haven't posted a video in a long time, but I will be soon.

I took these pictures today and they came out great so here they are:

Eleven Months Old

2010-01-12T16:04:00.000-05:00

Logan is eleven months old today, so here are his pictures:

I know it's been a long time since I last posted anything. We've been really busy lately. All of mom's family is here and it's been really fun. Me and Amanda started classes yesterday, so that's just going to make us even more busy. I'm glad to be back in school though, taking a year off was good for me to spend time with Logan, but now I need to think about the future.

Our New Year's was definitely one of the best. Here's some other pictures from the last couple weeks:

He fell asleep eating for the first time, and then woke up very angry.

Grandpa's birthday! He loved seeing the candles on the cake.

He really liked dancing with Aunt Genie and Uncle Frank on New Year's.

His first birthday is just around the corner, it's going by way too fast.

First Christmas

2009-12-25T14:57:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays! Today is Logan's very first Christmas. Here's a crapload of pictures, (heehee): (Click on pictures for full size)

Logan really loves Uncle David. He doesn't fall asleep on just anyone.

We made a lot of cookies for everyone.

I got a new haircut and donated my hair to Locks of Love.

The Christmas Mice came out really good this year.

It started snowing last night, with the wind gusting up to 50 mph. It was like a blizzard! We all wished for a white Christmas, we certainly got it. It was very cool.

Logan really liked all of his gifts. He got so excited and hot we had to strip him!

This is the same pond as the picture above, taken a few hours later. The snow really came down.

Yes, that's Thor on the pond out back. It's still frozen solid, even Zeus walked around on it and he's over 100lbs!

It's been a really nice Christmas so far. I'm so glad we live here now, it's nice to have so much family around at this time of the year.

Ten Months Old

2009-12-12T16:08:00.000-05:00

Logan is ten months old today, here are his pictures:

I just love his Christmas outfits, but this one is the best because of the reindeer butt. It's so adorable.

Everything's been going really good. Me and Amanda are signed up for school, we'll even be taking one class together, which should be fun.

Logan is doing great. He's not walking yet, but he seems very close to it. He says dog and kitty and baby now, and sometimes waves to people.

This has definitely been a really fun year.

Holiday Season

2009-12-09T14:14:00.001-05:00

Here's some pictures we've taken over the last couple weeks. Logan's been having a great time playing with all the Christmas decorations. My birthday was really fun. We had lots of sushi and a vanilla souffle.

Logan will be 10 months old this Saturday, so I'll be posting pictures for that then.

(Click on pictures to make them full size)

Thanksgiving

2009-11-28T12:55:00.001-05:00

Logan's first Thanksgiving was really fun. Here's some pictures from it:

Logan's first time holding and eating solid food!

It was a very nice day. It's so awesome that we live here now, by family. I know Logan will love growing up here.

This year has gone by so fast, and there's so much I'm thankful for. This is definitely one of the best years of my life.

Picnic at the Lake

2009-11-22T19:29:00.003-05:00

We took a picnic to the lake today. It was windy, but so pretty and just sunny enough. Logan had a lot of fun playing in the leaves and hiking around in the backpack on Gampaw.

Here's some pictures:

He fell asleep on his first walk of the day.

He passed out completely in the car on the way home, and even stayed asleep for awhile by himself in his playbed.

Logan was so sleepy playing on Gampaw's lap that he just laid his head and went right out.

Go Gators!

Nine Months Old

2009-11-12T15:14:00.006-05:00

Logan is nine months old today! I just can't believe how fast time is going. It'll probably slow down when I start school back up, it always does, but Logan just never stops growing and learning.

He's been babbling for a long time now, but his first real words are "Uh oh!" when he drops something. And now he even says when he sees something on the floor.

He went to see his new doctor today, and got a flu shot. No more vaccines until he's a year old, thankfully.

Anyway, here's his official nine month pictures:

Moogle Costume!

2009-10-31T22:56:00.014-04:00

Logan's moogle costume is finished, and he wore it a little bit yesterday and tonight while watching treat-or-treaters. He looks so cute in it, I can't believe how good it came out. All I've ever made before were costumes for teddy bears, it was a bit more tough making a full sized one.

Everything is hand sewn and constructed except for the fleece jumpsuit. The ears are white fleece covering cardboard with purple ribbon in the middle. The wings are purple fabric stuffed with fake snow and tacked on to stand up better. The antenna is a foam ball spray painted orange, hung with regular jewelry wire. It bounces naturally like a real moogle's would. I was going to paint his nose pinkish, but decided against it; he's still too little for that and it would just get everywhere methinks.

For those of you that don't know what a moogle is, here's a couple pictures of what they look like:

Here's some other pictures of him. I don't know what he was doing in this one, but it's cute. The next two are of his first walk with Gampaw in his backpack.

Here's an old video I couldn't get to upload last time. This was when we first moved here. Now he can climb the stairs no problem, I'll get a video of that soon to post:

Here's a video of him in the moogle costume. This shows much better how cute he really is in it, and it shows how the antenna bounces and moves naturally. It's not the best costume ever, but I'm definitely proud of it for being a first time making one:

Videos

2009-10-23T12:05:00.016-04:00

These videos are about a month old, I just haven't had time to sit down and post them.

I'll be taking some more to post soon. His moogle outfit is almost done, so there'll be pictures of that soon, hopefully.

Eight Months Old

2009-10-14T22:59:00.000-04:00

Here are Logan's official eight month pictures.

As you can see, he's gotten some more teeth, and he's crawling really fast and pulling up to standing on everything. He really likes watching his grandpa play on the computer.

I have videos on the camera but I've been too busy to post them. I will get to it in a couple days hopefully.

Oklahoma State Fair

2009-10-08T12:39:00.000-04:00

We've been in Oklahoma for a few weeks now and I love it so far. The clouds here are very strange but it's really pretty, too. The state fair is going on here right now and we went to walk around a couple days ago. It was really fun seeing all the animals and lights. I think Logan had a lot of fun as well.

It's been pretty crazy trying to get everything switched over to our new address, but everything has worked out pretty well.

I know it's been forever since I posted pictures, so here you go:

Logan & Me

2009-09-14T17:35:00.003-04:00

I took some pictures of me and Logan, but since I took them myself, and he was squirming his hardest trying to get the camera, they came out weird. But here they are anyways, because Logan looks cute:

Seven Months

2009-09-12T22:23:00.000-04:00

Logan is seven months old today, so here are his pictures:

He's so cute in his little suit!

He's starting to really crawl now, with his tummy off the floor. He still belly flops a lot, though, but pretty soon he's gonna be getting around.

Here's some pictures of Joy being cute as crap:

She's so tiny, I loves her.

We've been super busy packing and stuff, but everything is going great. I can't wait to be in Oklahoma, but I will miss Atlanta a little. I had a lot of fun here. I will miss the memories of downtown parties, first loves and first cars. This has been a good place to grow up, but Oklahoma will be a good place to settle down.

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
~Dr. Seuss

Froggy Man

2009-09-03T20:59:00.008-04:00

I got Logan a froggy costume at Walmart today. He looks sooo cute in it.

Here he is standing up by himself, he's getting so big:

I tried to take a good video of him froggy hopping in it, but he was getting really hot in it, so this is all I could get.

Moogles & Carrots

2009-08-28T15:47:00.008-04:00

There's been some people wondering why I have this blog and why I don't just email pictures and videos. Although I have explained it over and over again, I apparently need to do so again.

Emailing the amount of pictures I post on here would be a very big job. I'd have to edit them all, firstly, because they are huge and I'd only be able to send about 5 to 8 on each email. Second, even with editing them, I couldn't send all the ones I post here, especially not with the videos. Third, with my blog, I can post them as they are, in big batches, and everyone can see them, even the people whose email addresses I don't have.

For some reason, people seem to think me posting them here instead of sending out emails means I'm doing it just to spite them. Honestly, I do it because it's easier for me. Maybe getting emails would be easier for you, but I hardly get enough time to post on here as it is. It's really not that hard to click on the pictures and then right-click > Save Image.

Also, I like to be able to post my thoughts and opinions. I really don't care if you read them or not, I like getting them out of my head and onto a medium where other people can read what I'm feeling. If you think this is wrong of me, I really don't care.

Anyway, here's some more pictures.

This is Shippo next to Amanda's cat, Joy. Look at the size difference. I know Joy is a small-ish cat, but Shippo looks like mega-cat or something.

I've finally started working on Logan's moogle costume. All I've got left to do are the wings, which I still don't know how I'm going to do it. I'll try a couple things, and hopefully something will look halfway decent.

It's coming out better than I thought it would. It still looks a bit off, but I've only ever made teddy bears before, so I think it looks ok when you consider my lack of experience.

Here's some pictures of it so far, I put Logan's ball toy in the hood to make it look like someone wearing it. It looks kinda creepy because of that. Click to make full size:

Here's some other pictures I took of Logan eating carrots. He's so damn cute!

Doggies and Sippy Cups

2009-08-18T16:41:00.017-04:00

I took some more very cute pictures and videos of Logan, so here they are:

He's really starting to froggy-hop around on the floor now. It's very sweet to see him coming for you and then raising his arms at you, wanting you to hold him.

We got him a new toy; a ball that will roll a little on it's own and play music. Logan was scared of it at first, but now he loves it:

Six Months Old

2009-08-13T12:39:00.009-04:00

It's hard to believe that Logan turned six months old yesterday. It really doesn't seem like it was that long ago. Although I agree with what Dad said about it, too, it does seem like Logan has always been here.

Here's his official six month pictures:

We also bought a bunch of baby Gator stuff for when football starts up again (which is very soon! I can't wait!) And he finally fits into the t-shirt and baby Levi's that Aunt Betty, Uncle David and the boys got for him, so here's those pictures:

Family Photos

2009-07-31T23:48:00.018-04:00

We finally got some family pictures taken of all of us and Logan. I'm really glad Amanda was here to be in them with us.

I look like a fat weirdo in all of them, but everyone else looks pretty (even Daddy!) and Logan looks especially cute in them so that's all that matters. (I hate when people tell me to smile big, I end up looking like a weirdo.)

(Remember to click on pictures to make them full size)

They had sippy cups at Babies R Us with names on them, and I found one with 'Logan' on it. He seems to like playing with it, but he gets upset when he tries to put it in his mouth. It's not soft like a nipple, so he gets frustrated and screams at it. It's kinda funny but also a little bit scary.

He's also totally about to crawl. (Yes, I said "totally".) Here's videos!

Crazy Baby Man

2009-07-20T17:41:00.020-04:00

Picture time!

Here's some more videos, too. I finally got one of him playing in his new walker. I can't wait til he can start moving around with it. He's also trying to grab everything he sees and put it in his mouth.

Five Months Old

2009-07-13T00:18:00.006-04:00

Here's Logan's five month pictures. He looks so cute in his lil' baseball outfit. Carter's brand is so weird...it says on the label of that outfit that it's for an eighteen month old baby. There's no way that would fit a kid that old.

We got Logan a baby walker thing. He can't actually walk in it yet because his feet don't quite reach the floor yet, but he likes to sit in it and play with the toys on it. I'll be posting a video of him in it in the next couple days.

Tummy Time

2009-07-11T00:22:00.011-04:00

When I feed Logan cereal or fruit, he likes to shove his hands in his mouth and get them covered in the food. This time, though, he rubbed his hand over his face afterward, so he got food all over him. Here's some pictures of it, along with him wearing one of his hats:

He's getting really good at staying on his tummy and playing with his head held up. He tries to crawl, but only succeeds in pushing himself backwards over and over. He's also really good at rolling onto his tummy from his back now, and I got it on video.

I sound like a total idiot, but the baby is cute as crap and that's all that matters:

Playtime

2009-06-30T17:52:00.013-04:00

Logan and Zeus seem to be getting along pretty well. Zeus doesn't really like him to be right on top of him, so I can't get a good picture of them snuggling, but I'm still trying!

The other day Logan reached out to touch Zeus, so I took these. He's been noticing Shippo a lot lately as well. He'll grab his hair and pull, but Shippo doesn't seem to mind. Logan even tried to grab his tail, but I caught him just in time, thankfully.

There's another video of him eating big boy foods, this time with Mom feeding him, and a video of him playing with toys in his high chair. He's getting a lot better at picking stuff up and holding it. He's also good at slamming it down and making as much noise as possible. He's soooo cute.

Fairies and Quackers

2009-06-18T22:37:00.014-04:00

Here's some more pictures of Logan eating, and of him playing with his ducky, Quackers. He loooves his ducky; unfortunately, so does Thor.

I saw again today some Christian citing Leviticus 20:13 against gays and lesbians. What's interesting to me is that they dismiss almost all of the other verses in Leviticus, saying that those verses can be ignored because we don't need them in the modern day.

Things like not planting two kinds of seeds in your fields, not wearing clothes woven of two or more materials, canceling all debt every seven years (imagine that crap going on), even deporting men and women that have sex while the women is on her period. It's ridiculous, we definitely don't need those rules.

We don't need 20:13 either. If you don't know what this verse says, here it is:

"If a man lies with a male as he lies with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them." (Leviticus 20:13)

The thing about Leviticus is, it was written by the Jews. Now, if you think about it, during the time this was written, there wasn't much in the way of science telling people how things worked. People believed that men were born with a certain amount of sperm (like eggs with women) and were afraid it would run out, and so logically, it would be a sin to waste it. Which is why homosexuality was considered a sin, as well as masturbation.

(Let's not even get into circumcision.. I mean seriously, take a step back and think about that. If your 'god' didn't want your sons to have foreskin, why put it there? It's barbaric.)

Anyway, my point is, if you're going to throw out most of the chapter as outdated, then how can you possibly think any of it is still logical?

The Jews said sex should be used only for procreation, they were trying their best to grow the Jewish population.

My problem with these people is that they preach this total crap to people that just eat it up and believe it wholeheartedly without even giving it a second thought.

If you don't do research on something, even just a little bit, then I'm sorry, but you're ignorant and not entitled to an opinion. If all you did was listen to someone's hate speech and now you think homosexuality is evil (or at the very least unnatural) you're an idiot.

Do your homework kids, here's today's lesson: Google search the phrase "Homosexuality in the animal kingdom" and "homosexuality and evolution". You'll find articles on both sides of the "evil-or-not" spectrum, but until you read them all (which is probably impossible because there are more and more out each day), you can't have a belief system about it. Also, it's the internet, a lot of it is bound to be retarded and certainly not peer-reviewed.

Ebbing Away

2009-06-17T18:55:00.025-04:00

I took some more videos of Logan today. He's finally found out how to put his foot in his mouth, and he had his first experience with baby cereal.

I've always been scared of death. Of my own, surely, but mostly of those I love.

I'm especially scared of Zeus dying, or my mom, or Logan. But I've realized something...

The best things in life are fragile and mortal. Without them to cherish, life is truly empty. Maybe they mean so much because they are not permanent. Permanence would lead to taking advantage of it; we would not appreciate it's true value.

Every living thing will die. It will disappear from being and become nothingness. But who's to say it doesn't get recycled? I'm an atheist, sure, but that doesn't mean I presume to know what happens after death. It means only that I admit I don't know, and that really, anything could happen. I'm secure enough in my life to realize that I will probably never see again those that I love, but I also know that I really don't know anything.

So maybe. Maybe.

Baby Screams

2009-06-13T14:43:00.009-04:00

Here's Logan's official four month pictures:

I love this picture, it's like he's saying, "You really think I should be this close?"

I know I've told you before that Logan likes to scream, but I finally got a little bit of it on video. He's definitely got his Momma's affinity for being loud as possible.

Almost Four Months

2009-06-08T13:08:00.022-04:00

Logan will be four months on Friday. I'll take some pictures for that, but who knows when I'll post them, so I decided to put some on here today.

Logan loves the toys Aunt Betty got him. I named the lil ducky 'Quackers'. If he's playing with his Tweety toy and he drops it, he starts whining and crying until you give it back to him, it's so cute.

He's also really started to hold on to and hug his doggy, named 'Buster'. If you put it in front of him, he'll grab onto it with his arms and shove it into his face.

For awhile now, whenever someone holds Logan, all he wants to do is stand up on you and jump. I thought he was still too small for his jumper we got him, but I figured I'd try it anyway. It's got a deeper bucket seat than I thought, so it supports him sitting up really well.

I took some video of him jumping in it for the first time. There's also one of him making his special Grammaw face. I didn't capture it too good, because of all his jumping, but you can kind of see it. I'll tell you though that the video and pictures really don't do him justice, he is so much cuter in real life.

Monkey Man

2009-05-30T17:30:00.003-04:00

Logan was screaming last night while we were watching a movie, so I just had to take this video. He's such a weirdo.

Everything's been going good here. I think I've finally got Logan into taking longer naps during the day. He used to just sleep for 20 or so minutes at a time, and then he'd get really grumpy. Now, I take him upstairs to my bed and feed him in there and he sleeps for 3 or 4 hours sometimes. Only thing that kind of sucks about it is that I usually have to sit there with him for a half hour or more until I'm sure he's really asleep.

His four month birthday is coming up soon. I'm dreading it though because it means he has to go get more shots. Just thinking about putting him through more of that makes me want to cry.

Logan's awake now, so I'll post some more stuff later, I need to take some more pictures.

Loyalty or Honesty

2009-05-21T19:00:00.005-04:00

Here's another video of Logan laughing. He hardly ever laughs for me, he smiles at me all the time, but Grandma always gets the big laughs.

I finally got him to laugh for me though, so here's the video.

Mom and I watched a movie today called "The Walker". It was a weird movie, but one question it asked was whether you would choose being honest over being loyal.

It's a tough decision for some people, but for people like me, it's simple. Loyalty always triumphs.

Both are incredibly important to me, even to the point of hypocrisy. Case in point: I'm allowed to bitch at my mom. When she makes me mad, I'm allowed to tell her about it because I've always stood by her side. Everyone else, however, is not allowed to bitch at my mom. I don't care who you are, you are not entitled to get mad at my mother, only I have that right.

For some reason, this makes sense to me, even though I know it's hypocritical. I feel I'm the most loyal to my mom, and in telling her that I'm upset I'm being even more loyal. Everyone else, though, is just being an ass.

If it came down to being loyal to mom by being dishonest and losing something vital, or telling the truth and betraying loyalty, that's an easy choice for me. Mom has given up everything for me, and I would do the same for her. I would lie for her, definitely.

I guess it depends on the situation, though. Loyalty to someone I hardly know is not worth throwing away honesty. Loyalty to someone that's been loyal to me is much easier to maintain.

I don't know why I think about crap like this.

Logan Laughing

2009-05-16T11:59:00.014-04:00

Sleepy Boogie

I finally got a video of Logan laughing. He's not doing it fully yet, but it's still really cute.

I also took some more pictures of him. He finally fits into the outfit Amanda and Troy got him. He looks so cute in it and it's so soft, I know he loves it. Plus, who wouldn't love a monkey hat?

I was going to write more but Logan just woke up. Here's the video, I'll post more later:

Three Months

2009-05-13T20:37:00.012-04:00

Logan was officially three months old yesterday. I can't believe how fast it's going. I start school next week, so things will probably slow down a little, but I still can't believe it's May already.

Here's some pictures of Logan on his three month birthday:

"Yar, matey!"

My first Mother's Day was really nice. Mom and dad took me out to eat sushi and gave me a very pretty mother-themed necklace with earrings to match. I'll have to take a picture of it to post on here.

I should probably save this for Kronos Rex since that blog is private, but I really don't care anymore. Ryan called me on Mother's Day to wish me a happy mother's day, and then went on to tell me how wrong I am about him and his family. I had told him the day before that if his family really cared, they would have sent a card, at least in response to the birth announcement. He said, "How were they supposed to know to send a card?" I told him that since Tiffany sent a card and a gift, they can't all not know to do this.

When his cousin Courtney was graduating from high school, she sent out graduation announcements. We got one and sent back a congratulations card with $50. If she knew to send out announcements for it, she learned that from her mom, Ryan's aunt. How is this any different from sending out birth announcements and expecting a congratulations card back from people that claim to care? I also said he and his family could have at least responded to the pictures and videos me and mom sent them. He says he shouldn't have to reply to the emails.

I was going to just leave it at that, but I decided to send him, his sister and his mom pictures and videos one more time, just to give them all one more chance. (How many fecking chances do these people need, seriously?) I also wrote them all an email telling them all this personally instead of just letting Ryan lie to them some more. I went on to talk about how Logan is doing in the email and gave them me and mom's email addresses again so they have absolutely no excuse not to write back. I have yet to get a response from any of them. I even wrote in the videos and pictures email that I would like a response to make sure they got them, but no, nothing.

Of course not.

I'm so finished with these people. I wanted cards and emails for Logan so I could put them in his baby book and show him later that his family on his father's side has loved him from the beginning just like we have here. But that's fine, if they don't care about Logan then I'd rather they stay away now. It's better for Logan that way; he won't have to go through wondering where they went.

It's going to be very hard to explain to him why his father isn't around when he grows up and asks me. I never want to lie to him, but there are some things you just can't tell kids until they've grown up.

Scared Baby

2009-05-08T17:25:00.013-04:00

I took these videos today of Logan getting scared of a noise mom makes. It's so cute, but it makes me almost start crying when he does his lip like that. I can't stand seeing him about to cry, but right after he does it, he starts smiling again. He's such a little weirdo.

Things have been going good, pretty much. Logan's still sleeping through the night pretty much. He'll wake up a couple times but I just nurse him a little and he falls right back to sleep. The only problem is that he doesn't like taking naps during the day. He gets a bit fussy when he's tired and tries to fight falling asleep.

I start going back to school soon, on the 18th. I'm only taking one class, so I'll only be gone for about two hours, but it'll still be weird for me. I went to the store last night without Logan, that was the first time I've gone anywhere without him. It was also the first time I've driven in almost four months. I wasn't gone that long, but it felt weird not having him with me.

I'm just glad I don't have to leave Logan with someone I don't really know. He's here with people that genuinely love him, so I know I'm lucky for that.

Logan just started crying in his sleep on mom's lap. He's probably dreaming about her making that noise at him. Poor baby :(

We've Got a Screamer

2009-05-02T16:05:00.017-04:00

I think everyone that really knows me knows that any offspring of mine will be loud. Logan is definitely starting to live up to that.

I took some more videos of him today. He's started to roll over from his stomach to his back, and I finally got that on tape. We also bought him a new toy for him to lay on. He really seems to like it. He gets upset if he's left on his tummy for too long, but when he's on his back with the toy he screams with joy. He's definitely my progeny.

Pictures of the Cutest Baby Ever©

2009-05-01T22:47:00.006-04:00

We bought him some sunglasses, as you can see. He looks awesome in them. I didn't think he'd like wearing them, but he seemed ok with them on. We'll have to see how it goes when he wears them for a longer period of time. He'll like them on his walks I hope.

I love how his socks look like soccer socks. It's so cute!

Almost Three Months

2009-04-22T22:12:00.003-04:00

Picture Time! These are pictures of Logan on his 2 month birthday. Sorry it took me so long to post them, he's almost three months now!

He's so damn cute. He talks a lot more now, and is starting to try to figure out how to control his tongue. He sticks is out all the time and tries to move it. When I talk to him he stares at my mouth and tries to make the same shapes with it. He's just awesome.

He got his first shots about a week ago. It was awful...he cried so hard and then I started crying. I think I scared the nurse or something because she left the room pretty quick. I feel bad for her though, she probably gets an earful from a lot of mother's in that situation. I thanked her though, but she said, "I'm gonna leave before you change your mind."

School starts soon, that's gonna suck. I'm only taking one class though, Calculus, so I'll still be able to breastfeed pretty easily methinks.

Speaking of which, Logan's awake. Mammary Time!

Almost two months

2009-04-09T19:05:00.006-04:00

Logan is almost two months old, so I thought I'd finally post something, even a video! Don't you feel special?

I look like hell, of course, but Logan is just too damn cute to keep this video to myself.

Everything else has been going good. Logan "talks" all the time now. He only wakes up about once a night, but he seems to demand getting out of bed at 9am every morning. Which to most of you probably seems reasonable, but unless I'm taking classes, I don't usually crawl out of bed until 11 or 12. It's been great though, and I can't imagine loving anyone the way I love Logan.

Speaking of heart matters, I might have an actual date coming up soon, which is exciting. I haven't been on a real date in about 5 years, so I'm a bit nervous, but it should be fun. Wish me luck!

One Month Old

2009-03-12T14:36:00.004-04:00

Logan is one month old today. I have to take some pictures of him, because I need like fifty thousand one month old pictures just for all his baby stuff. They need to make baby books for dogs...puppy books I guess. I wish I had taken more pictures of Zeus when he was a pup.

Things have been going really well. Logan is incredible to be around. He's definitely the cutest baby I've ever seen, but I'm probably a bit biased. It's weird though, I was told that I would never get any sleep and would be up all night with him. I fully expected it, too. But Logan sleeps pretty much through the night. I usually only have to wake up twice to pop my boob in his mouth and occasionally change a dirty diaper and then we're both back to sleep. It's been this way since I got home from the hospital. Maybe some babies are just like that, I don't know.

He's been making little sounds a lot more now. Just little goo's and stuff, and he smiles more often. It's really cute. I can't wait til he laughs.

Besides baby stuff, I've just been trying not to wear myself out. We went to the huge IKEA store here in Atlanta awhile ago and I really just shouldn't have gone. It was way too much walking for me right now. I was really hurting the next day. I'm ok with little things though, like going to the grocery store or the book store.

Speaking of the book store, I finally got a copy of Watchmen and I really like it so far. The characters seem like real people, despite the fact that they dress up in costumes to fight crime. They are psychologically real people with their own real problems and vices. I've read graphic novels and manga before, but this is definitely a different experience.

I don't have much time to read lately, but I get in a few pages every now and then. I don't know what I'd do without Mom and Dad. They help so much. I also have a feeling my aunts and uncles will be coming back soon. Logan already misses them, and I know they've bonded with him now. Haha, we got you now! There's no escape.

I finally downloaded the Resident Evil 5 demo on my PS3. It's pretty much just like RE4, which I still think defies the whole idea of Resident Evil, but it is kinda fun. I'll just have to get used to it I guess. At least this one will have Wesker in it, hopefully it'll explain more about him. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about.

I was going to try to take some pictures and video to post on this entry, but it seems Logan is hungry. It'll have to wait I guess.

He's here!

2009-02-16T22:30:00.009-05:00

Logan Joseph Soto
2/12/2009
11:51am
7lbs 13oz

So we're home, finally, and I have a new baby boy. It was quite an experience, though.

I starting getting contractions on the 10th, but they never really got bad. I went in to get induced on the 11th at 9pm. After the put in the medicine to soften my cervix my contractions started in earnest. They gave me some pain medicine around 1 or 2am and I finally got to sleep for about 2 hours. After that the pain was a bit too much to sleep through. I had some bad pains starting around 8am I'd say, and then when I was finally dilated to 5cm they came to give me an epidural.

I was really scared of getting one, even though I knew I wanted one. I'd heard about how they can hurt really bad, or even get put in wrong. I had to sit at the edge of the bed and arch my back into the doctors needle. All I really felt was him giving me a local shot to numb it a bit, and then I got a contraction so I was concentrating on that pain and I didn't feel him put in the epidural at all. After about 20 minutes or so my legs were completely numb and I couldn't feel the contractions anymore. The epidural itself made me shake uncontrollably, and they eventually had to come give me an oxygen mask because Logan's heart rate was dropping.

The doctor came in around 11am to check me. She said I was at 7cm dilation and wanted to break my water. I didn't feel it, of course, but after she broke it I felt Logan shift hard upward, toward my chest. Then my doctor said, "Hmm...That's weird." And a nurse said, "That's not really something you want to hear your doctor say." Apparently her breaking my water scared Logan out of position. His rate started jumping all over the place and my contractions weren't dilating me anymore, so they decided to do an emergency c-section.

They rolled me into the room by myself at first, which was scary. I was still shaking uncontrollably from the epidural, and I was very scared that I was going to feel them cut me. It seemed to take forever. I smelled burning skin and felt a lot of pressure, and then finally mom saw Logan's head coming out.

When I heard him cry the first time I started crying, too. It was a very strange feeling.

I still can't believe I had a baby. It still feels unreal. I never thought I could love something so much.

During the worst of the contractions, when they were so bad I could have easily screamed and I could do nothing but concentrate on not screaming and they were coming one minute apart and sometimes not stopping for 3 or 4 minutes, all I could think was, "This is just one day...one day out of my entire life...this is just one day."

It was so worth it.

Here's the nursery web page to see more pictures of Logan, you'll need this password to get in to see them: 11821258673751

http://www.our365.com/

Overdue

2009-02-08T00:35:00.005-05:00

So I am officially overdue now, and I thought that would merit a blog post. I've not really been super busy or anything, but it just seems like I've not had much time to post anything.

The waiting sucks, really bad. I thought for sure Logan would be here by now. Every little pain I get now makes me think he's coming, but it always turns out to be nothing. I kind of feel like a masochist, because I keep hoping I'll wake up in extreme pain every night.

It still seems very dreamlike to me. I don't think it will hit me completely until I get to see his face. I mean, I know there's something alive in there, it's easy to tell now. It just hasn't sunk in. It's a weird feeling, hard to explain.

Everything else has been going ok. There's still some people out there that like to talk all kinds of crap like they know what I'm thinking, but what's important now is that I have a healthy delivery, so I'm just trying not to let that stuff get to me.

Everything is going to change so much, and I'm scared, honestly, but really excited, too. I still can't wait until I get to bring Logan home and introduce him to Zeus. Zeus has always been so good with kids, he lets them get away with things he won't even let me do, like climb on top of him and pull his ears. I just can't wait to see Logan grow up with two big doggies and play with them.

It's going to be hard to go back to school this summer. I'm really enjoying my break, but things are about to get really busy. I think I'll be ok, since I have mom and dad to help me, but it's not going to be easy. The rest of the classes I need are pretty much all upper level, tougher material.

It's going to be an interesting year ahead, that's for sure.

Family Dynamics

2009-01-12T01:43:00.003-05:00

Four weeks left until Logan comes out. It's still really crazy when I think about it. It's going to be so weird having a baby here. Our neat little family dynamic might change, or it might not. I'm not too sure how it will affect things, but I know it will be interesting.

A lot of people seem to think that I only live at home because I haven't grown up, or because I'm scared, or who knows why. Lemme just explain: I live here because this is my home.

I'm no longer just the child living with her parents. While that may be how it is physically here, it's not how it is emotionally. I see my parents more as my partners in life. They're still my parents, sure, and deserve more respect than I would show other people (although they might argue that sometimes @__@), but I see them more and more as part of my team. They seem to feel the same way, since they entrust me with the same information that they entrust each other with.

Things we do now affect each of us. I get paid to go to school, that money goes into the bank, which we all have access to. When I graduate from college (soon, hopefully), I'll get a job somewhere. If I have to move, guess who's coming with me?

I can never see myself leaving here. These people are the only people in the world that have never cheated me or betrayed me. They love me unconditionally and way more than anyone else ever has. Some people tell me I'll never grow up living at home, that I should be out on my own, working and going to school all by myself.

Are you fecking crazy? Why would I purposefully make this crap harder on myself? I have a team here that backs me absolutely. If I had left before, I would have had to figure a lot of this crap out on my own, but instead I have experienced teachers here that only have my best interests in mind. Who in their right mind would give that up?

I don't understand why more people haven't realized this. Sure, I like independence just as much as the next person, but I have more of it here than I would on my own. I am backed here by people that love me, that grants more freedom than most people think.

My parents and I no longer have just a parent-child relationship. We're partners in a crazy world, and I'm glad as hell for that.

Logic

2009-01-04T22:58:00.002-05:00

It never fails to amaze me that some people just don't seem to know how to use their brains. This will be the first time I have explained anything about the father publicly, but I feel it is definitely right in this case.

I'm sure by now that the story has spread, and I'm equally sure that I know what his excuses are. Ryan and I got in two fights the whole time he was here, one on the second day and one on the last. The time in the middle was spent with him ignoring everyone present, not just myself. His excuse for this, which he tried to use on me during the second fight, was that I told him to leave me alone during the first fight.

Seriously. Think about that for a minute. First of all, I've already kicked his ass to the curb three times prior for much lesser offenses; do you really think I'd have a problem telling him to go home? Second, right after that first fight, we were laughing together after we got it straightened out. Now, honestly, if I had told him to leave me alone, why would I be laughing with him? If he had even thought, at all, that that is what I meant, would he really have been laughing with me right afterward? Seriously.

Logic, please get some.

Six Weeks to Go

2008-12-31T01:10:00.007-05:00

So it's been forever since I posted. Sorry about that, I haven't really been much in the mood. Lots of crap has been happening lately, and I'm sure whoever reads this has heard at least one version of the story. Suffice it to say, it's getting harder and harder for me to write on this blog without telling all about what's happened. Honestly though, I'd rather not deal with what that would bring.

Logan's room is finally complete (unless I decide to add more to it, that is). I think everything looks great and it's all sooo cute! Everyone that came for Christmas loved it, with the exception of the father, of course. I don't think he really even looked twice at any of it; he certainly didn't ask to see it or mention what he thought of any of it.

Anyway, here's some pictures of it for those of you that haven't seen it. This first one just shows a little bit of the clothes we've already got for him, the rest of his clothes are in the dresser.

This used to be in our kitchen, painted brown. Mom had the excellent idea of using it as a changing table. I think it looks perfect!

I've wanted that Wolf's Rain wall scroll for probably about 3 years now. It's always been one of my favorites, I just never thought I had a place to put it since my walls in my room are completely covered. I think it looks great in there, though, and kinda matches that puppy theme. >_> Kinda.

I just want to say thanks again to Aunt Genie and Aunt Reese. The Bananafish Spot decorations are sooo adorable, I love them so much!

My Christmas went pretty good, considering. It could have been a lot worse, and probably would have been if I hadn't held back everything. Still, it was great to see my sister, her husband and the kids. I still can't believe me and Sarah beat everyone in Trivial Pursuit, we are so smart. @_@ (not really...we got really lucky :D)

Oh, if anyone needs the link to the 4-D ultrasound pictures, here it is:
http://www.dotphoto.com/go.asp?l=bfi&P=Soto&AID=5670822&CID=0&T=1&E=Y

Me and mom are working on getting my hospital bag packed. I'm just trying to make sure I don't forget anything. I've been making an I-pod playlist to listen to while I'm in there, but I don't know if I'm picking the right music. I'm just trying to pick anything that makes me calm and soothed, and so far that's mostly video game music. That doesn't really surprise me much, but what does is that most of it is from Silent Hill games. I guess I'm just weird that way. @___@

Well, it's 1:30 in the morning, and I'm tired. I shall leave you all with a picture of our new doormat. Yes, we really have this, and yes, I do think it's hilarious, and if you don't, then you totally don't deserve to be reading this blog:

Babies, animals and band (Oh my!)

2008-12-02T20:39:00.009-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday. I can't believe I'm 26. I still feel 18, seriously. It was fun though, I got some nice presents and we got to go eat sushi, which is always great even though I can't have beer at the moment. I got Animal Crossing for the Wii, and I luuurves it. There's a sheep in my town named Baabara, which I giggle about everytime I talk to her. (It really doesn't take much for me @_@)

Today was our Holiday band concert. It was informal, in the lobby of the student center, but it was fun. We had a cake and coffee and hot chocolate and stuff and it seemed like everyone enjoyed it. I'm glad I joined band, it's nice to have friends to just goof around with but still have some common goal in mind.

Mom took some pictures of me today, and since everyone's been asking me for one I figured I'd go ahead and post one. I look huge, but at least I have an excuse now. :D

That's all you get unless you're family, so you better be happy with it. @_@

Everything else is going good so far. The animals are doing good. I haven't posted any pictures of them in awhile, so I took some for you (I know I know, how could I wait so long!?):

Kitties warming bellies by the fire.

Zeus sleeping. I love it when he curls up in a lil ball. Ok...a big ball. >_>

Luna. I love this picture of her, even though she's half blinking.

Thor likes to be covered up when he sleeps, even his head.

We got the baby's room almost all done. I took out all my video game systems (see.. I'm sacrificing >_>) and the TV stand and moved in an old style buffet table we painted white to use as a changing table. It looks great in there, when we finish it I'll post some pictures of it. Although I doubt that room will be used much, but when we're upstairs he will be changed in there I guess. He's gonna be sleeping with me for awhile just because it'll be easier to nurse that way.

I'ma go back to playing my video games now while I have the chance. @_@

Seven Months

2008-11-14T13:42:00.005-05:00

So tomorrow will be the beginning of my seventh month. Doctor says I have twelve weeks, and when she put it like that, it seems like I'm almost done.

School is sooo close to being over that I'm starting to get really anxious. I got back my Zoology test today. He told the class that the class average was a 72, which is a low C, and the highest grade was a 92, which is an A. I got mine back and it was a 92. :D

I know I did well, but this was the hardest test in this class because of all the Latin names. It was mostly over Arthropods, which is the biggest phylum there is. I had probably over 20 Latin names to learn, distinguish between, and be able to tell if they were class or order or genus, and to which each belonged. I missed a few of the multiple choice and crap but the matching was perfect and my essay answers where perfect.

I was extremely happy about that, if I can come out of this with an A then a C in Trig won't be horrible. I'm aiming for a B still, but we'll see how the final goes.

My "Faith" post seemed to stir up a little bit of hits for my blog, which I was happy about. It seems as though most people actually read it and respected it, I only had one person admit they skimmed it and then told me I must have been really bored. Really, that just makes me realize that this person doesn't have much respect for what I think, so I really don't think I care to hear his opinion anyway. =/

I've apparently gained 25 pounds total so far, which isn't too bad. It's weird though, I don't feel like I've gotten any bigger except in my belly. My legs and arms and stuff all look the same, so I dunno. I can definitely feel my stomach on my thighs now when I sit down, which is very weird. I haven't had a really flat stomach for about 5 years now, but at least it was never this big before.

Things are going great, though, and soon everything will pay off. I know this probably sounds weird, but I can't wait for the baby to meet Zeus and Thor. I foresee many, many squealings at cuteness in my future.

Faith

2008-10-25T22:33:00.081-04:00

The following is in no way intended to "convert" anyone. This is merely an explanation of my own research and ideas and opinions. If you are close minded, I would advise not venturing further. I respect the Christian beliefs of my family members and friends, and I would expect them to respect my own opinions as well.

This is a very long piece, not only because of the words typed, but because of the videos embedded within it. If you do not have time to read what I have written, as well as watch three videos of about nine minutes each, then please do not even bother. If you cannot show this piece the respect it deserves as a lifetime of my own soul searching, then you do not deserve to know any of it.

The Beginning

No one really wants to hear my opinions on religion. If you've ever been around me when the subject of god comes up, you'll notice I don't say anything. No one asks me my opinion. I've noticed that when people talk about religion, they don't really want anyone's opinion. They want to hear themselves speak their beliefs out loud, and get back a bunch of, "Oh yeah, you're absolutely right." They don't want to hear, "That's interesting, but what about..." It makes people uncomfortable. For good reason, I'd expect, since the government (and not just this one) has been telling people for centuries that anyone that doesn't believe what they believe is a heathen and ought to be stoned to death.

I was raised Catholic. I believed in god, the bible, heaven, hell, angels and everything else for a long time. Looking back, though, I'd say my faith was doomed from the beginning. I am a questioner. I do not trust something just because others believe it. In fact, that usually makes me doubt it more than anything. I'm a rebel I guess, and I don't mean that in a good way.

When I was around 15 years old, circumstances brought me to start questioning my faith, something I had never done before. It was difficult mostly because up to this point, my 'faith' wasn't really important to me. It was just something everyone did, like brushing your hair before school. The first epiphany came from the following question I asked myself: "If god granted only humans free will, and angels were only his servants, then how could the morning star, Lucifer, have ever thought he was more beautiful or better than god?" God made these rules, god is apparently infallible. Angels have no free will. An angel, a servant of god, suddenly realizes it and challenges god's authority. This is not logical. This makes no sense.

Eventually, after about a year of thinking about this, I came across another question. I had been thinking a lot about Lucifer himself and doing some immature research; we didn't have the internet back then, and I was too young to understand the implications of true research.

My next thought process went something like this: The Garden of Eden. Humans here were just like their 'dumb' animal friends. They were naked, and didn't realize it. They had no real knowledge of their world. So, here comes Lucifer, the snake. He says, hey, eat this apple, and you will learn. What raddled me about this is that he wasn't lying. He was not deceiving anyone. Now, whether or not his intentions were noble (we only see one side of this story, so you can't possibly tell me that you know what his intentions were) we did become aware after this. The original sin, it seems, was to gain knowledge. Today, we thank god for all we have learned, for technology and society and blah blah blah. Really, we should be thanking the snake. God wanted us in his garden forever; only the snake showed us the path that led to this.

This makes no sense either. I always knew that humans were the plague of the earth, so at this point I thought the snake should have just shut up. Apparently, though, most people think this world is just for humans, so they, unknowingly or not, thank the snake for his gift.

After a year or so of thinking these things through and trying to find fault with them, I finally decided that I would abolish my beliefs in favor of an opinion. Opinions can be easily changed, something I needed, whereas a belief system cannot. At this point, I still believed in god, but I did not believe in hell or the devil because these points lacked any semblance of logic.

Over the years, I adapted and changed a few minor things, but mostly it kept to the same theme of believing only in god, not the devil. It wasn't until I got to college that my opinions would change drastically yet again. The reason for this is simple: I learned the meaning of true research here while having to write research and literary papers.

I almost picture this breakthrough like a movie. My teacher explaining it, and me, wide-eyed, brain working furiously, everything I thought was true coming crashing down on top of me. My teacher was explaining how to find good sources for research. She said if you find one thing false in a work, no matter how small, you cannot, logically or in good conscience, believe anything else in the work. Well, I guess you can believe it if you want, but it is no longer considered a true source. This, of course, made me think of the bible right away.

I have heard many people over the years say that they only believe certain things out of the bible. I used to be this way as well. The difference between believing only part of the bible and believing none of it is not that big.

The 'Good' Book

According to "Samuel," David took a census of the people. This excited the wrath of Jehovah, and as a punishment he allowed David to choose seven years of famine, a flight of three months from pursuing enemies, or three days of pestilence. David, having confidence in God, chose the three days of pestilence; and thereupon, God, the compassionate, on account of the sin of David, killed seventy thousand innocent men. Under the same circumstances, what would a devil have done?
-- Robert Green Ingersoll, "About the Holy Bible" (1894)

The bible... I could say so much here, but I honestly don't care enough to go into it. It's a crazy book that copied most of its stories from Egyptian god stories. There are so many contradictions in it, it is ridiculous. It absolutely blows my mind how many people claim to believe it as true have never even read it. It also makes me pity a species that can read this, fully understanding all the contradictions within, and then still not only believe it, but work to cover up and explain away all the things wrong with it.

Some believers ... alter the original text of the gospel ... to enable them to deny difficulties in the face of criticism. -- Celsus, Against Celsus, 2, 27

Here are some examples of contradictions in the bible:

What were the names of the apostles?

Matthew 10:2-4	Mark 3:16-19	Luke 6:14-16	Acts 1:13
Simon (Peter) Andrew James (son of Zebedee) John Philip Bartholomew Thomas Matthew James (son of Alphaeus) Lebbaeus (surname Thaddeus) Simon the Canaanite Judas Iscariot	Simon (Peter) James (son of Zebedee) John Andrew Philip Bartholomew Matthew Thomas James (son of Alphaeus) Thaddeus Simon the Canaanite Judas Iscariot	Simon (Peter) Andrew James John Philip Bartholomew Matthew Thomas James (son of Alphaeus) Simon (Zeolotes) Judas (brother of James) Judas (Iscariot)	Peter James John Andrew Philip Thomas Bartholomew Matthew James (son of Alphaeus) Simon Zeolotes Judas (brother of James)

When did Jesus ascend into heaven?
On the day of his resurrection.
Luke 24:1-51

Now upon the first day of the week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepulchre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain others with them. And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre.
...
And returned from the sepulchre, and told all these things unto the eleven, and to all the rest. ...
And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus....
...
And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together....
...
And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
...
And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven.

Mark 16:9-19

Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.
...
After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country.
...
Afterward he appeared unto the eleven as they sat at meat, and upbraided them with their unbelief and hardness of heart, because they believed not them which had seen him after he was risen.
...
So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.

At least eight days after his resurrection.

John 20:26

And after eight days again his disciples were within, and Thomas with them: then came Jesus, the doors being shut, and stood in the midst, and said, Peace be unto you.

Many days after his resurrection.

Acts 13:31

And he was seen many days of them which came up with him from Galilee to Jerusalem, who are his witnesses unto the people.

Forty days after his resurrection.

Acts 1:2-3, 9

Until the day in which he was taken up ... he shewed himself alive after his passion by many infallible proofs, being seen of them forty days, and speaking of the things pertaining to the kingdom of God:
...
And when he had spoken these things, while they beheld, he was taken up; and a cloud received him out of their sight.

Who carried Jesus' cross?

Jesus carried his own cross.

Simon the Cyrenian carried Jesus' cross.

John 19:17

And he bearing his cross went forth into a place called the place of a skull.

Matthew 27:32

And as they came out, they found a man of Cyrene, Simon by

Mark 15:21

And they compel one Simon a Cyrenian, who passed by, coming out of the country, the father of Alexander and Rufus, to bear his cross.

Luke 23:26

And as they led him away, they laid hold upon one Simon, a Cyrenian, coming out of the country, and on him they laid the cross, that he might bear it after Jesus.

The list goes on and on and on. I recommend looking at this site if you wish to see more: http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/

The website has many, many more contradictions and covers a wide variety of other topics. Of particular interest to me were the sections on women, homosexuality, and cruelty and violence. It's still amazing to me that god killed so many hundreds of thousands of innocents in the bible, and I believe the devil only killed something like 5 or so.

One idea I’ve heard is that the gods of all religions are really the same god. This is an old idea, and it’s a good one. C.S. Lewis liked this idea; the gods of Narnia are thought to be the same single god by some of the book characters. I have one problem with this though. The bible calls god the “Lord God”, saying, in essence, that this god is the lord over all other gods. So yes, the bible does actually recognize other gods. There are other examples of this in the book itself.

I have often wondered, what makes people choose one god over the other? Isn’t that in itself a form of atheism? There’s a very good quote floating around the internet about this, it goes something like this: “I contend that we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.” Here’s a good site with this quote along with a list of gods Christians don’t believe in and a list of gods atheists don’t believe in. You’ll notice the only difference in the two lists is the god Yahweh:

http://lukeprog.com/religion/gods.html

Zeitgeist

I think this is a good place for the videos. I knew a lot of this information already from taking college history classes, but having it all together in one place is nice.

These are long videos, and if you do not have time to watch them all, then you might as well stop reading this now. This is really just one long segment of the movie ‘Zeitgeist’, broken up into three separate videos. They must be watched in order and all the way through to be understood completely:

Here are links to the sources used for these videos, as well as a transcript with page specific sources:

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/sources.htm

http://www.zeitgeistmovie.com/transcript.htm

’Zeitgeist’ goes into much more detail about other things besides religion. I recommend watching the whole movie. Of course, if this offended you, then you probably don't have the open mind required to comprehend the rest of it.

As I said, college history courses do teach a lot of this information. Some professors will not touch much on it for fear of offending people. Luckily, my main teacher was not scared to dive right into it. I would recommend everyone taking a survey of world civilizations class and a world religions class (from an actual college, not a theology school... they are skewed to say the least).

If you don’t believe something said in the videos, please do use the links above to go find the quote you have trouble with and use the sources to look up the information. I have already done my research on these topics; I will not be doing someone else’s for them.

Biology

Being a biology student, you should have expected me to get to these subjects. How could I be studying this subject for so long and not have it affect my faith (or lack thereof)?

As I said before, I have always considered this planet as a shared community, with the humans being the impolite and selfish plague that ruins the harmonious cycle of every other living thing. I know I am not alone in this thinking, but a vast majority of ignorant humans seem to think that this world was created just for them. This would probably be my main problem with the bible; it encourages (and probably started) this kind of thinking.

First of all, I will show you two figures: (Please click on them to show full size!)

Figure 1

Figure 2

These figures are a little busy, especially the second one, but these are proof to me that this planet is not for us. Figure one is a rough estimate of all living species, including plants. Figure two is the same but without the plants. If you’ll notice, the insects make up the majority of all species. We, on the other hand, are extremely small in comparison.

Looking at figure 2, you can see that the class Mammalia, to which we belong, only compromises around 4,000 species. And if your brain is with you today, you will realize that we are only a very small branch of mammals. Take this number and compare it to the total animal species estimation: 4,000 to 1,032,000.

If you can’t see from these numbers that this planet was more likely made for insects than for humans, I really don’t know what else to tell you. It is arrogant and ignorant human nature to think they we are the most important species on the planet.

I was going to go into a long-winded explanation of evolution and how it fits into all of this, but I think this is enough for now. I will say one thing on the subject, however.

The Pope has recently said that people that believe in evolution can still be good Catholics. He went on to say that the debate between creationism and evolution was an “absurdity,” saying that evolution can coexist with faith. He also said that while there is much scientific proof to support evolution, the theory could not exclude a role by God.

Of course the Pope would say that. He's not going to cut off that many would-be followers. He's a good leader, and he knows he must lose some fights to win the big ones. Just like when Christianity was being born, and they added in all the pagan rituals to get them to join their cult.
"Hey, you guys decorate trees...we do that, too!"
"Rabbits as symbols of fertility, huh? We got those!"
"Holiday festivals on the solstices, eh? Well, who cares what day Jesus was really born anyway!"
And so on and so on...

The Pope also said evolution did not answer all the questions: “Above all it does not answer the great philosophical question, ‘Where does everything come from?’”

There is a theory that life originated from space. It apparently floated here on a meteor or some such. This has been argued immensely because lots of scientists believe that nothing can survive the vacuum of space. If you’ve been reading my blog from the beginning, you’ll remember I’ve already debunked this. If you need the links, here they are:

http://pixienoms.blogspot.com/2008/08/lightning.html

http://science.nasa.gov/newhome/headlines/ast01sep98_1.htm

"I always thought the most significant thing that we ever found on the whole...Moon was that little bacteria who came back and lived and nobody ever said [anything] about it."
- Apollo 12 Commander Pete Conrad

Yeah, they left some equipment on the moon. For a long damn time. They go back and get it, and there’s some bacteria living on it.

Wonder why that didn’t make the news.

Famous Atheists

I will end this with some quotes from some famous atheists. You may be surprised at the names you see here; if you don’t read every quote (but you really should), you should at least take a look at all the names. I’ve italicized my favorite quotes.

"The Bible is not my book nor Christianity my profession. I could never give assent to the long, complicated statements of Christian dogma."

- Abraham Lincoln, American president (1809-1865).

"I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religion than it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it."

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism."

"I do not believe in the immortality of the individual, and I consider ethics to be an exclusively human concern with no superhuman authority behind it."

"If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for a reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed."

-Albert Einstein, German-born American physicist

"All thinking men are atheists."

On page 144 of Paul Johnson's book Intellectuals, it states that despite being raised in a strict Congregationalist household, Ernest "did not only not believe in God but regarded organized religion as a menace to human happiness", "seems to have been devoid of the religious spirit", and "ceased to practise religion at the earliest possible moment."
Others have pointed out that Hemingway used the non-existence of God as a theme in his books.

- Ernest Hemingway, American author (1899-1961).

From the age of forty he was, to use his own words, a complete dis-believer in Christianity. He professed himself an Agnostic, regarding the problem of the universe as beyond our solution, "For myself," he wrote, "I do not believe in any revelation. As for a future life, every man must judge for himself between conflicting vague probabilities."
"The mystery of the beginning of all things is insoluble by us, and I for one must be content to remain an agnostic."

"It appears to me (whether rightly or wrongly) that direct arguments against Christianity and theism produce hardly any effect on the public; and freedom of thought is best promoted by the gradual illumination of men's minds which follows from the advance of science." [Quoted in How We Believe: The Search for God in an Age of Science by Michael Shermer.

Charles Robert Darwin, English naturalist (1809-1882).

"I have found Christian dogma unintelligible. Early in life, I absenteed myself from Christian assemblies."

"Lighthouses are more helpful then churches."

-Benjamin Franklin, American Founding Father, author, and inventor

"They know that it is human nature to take up causes whereby a man may oppress his neighbor, no matter how unjustly. ... Hence they have had no trouble in finding men who would preach the damnability and heresy of the new doctrine from the very pulpit."

-Galileo Galilei, Italian astronomer

"Every sensible man, every honorable man, must hold the Christian sect in horror."

"Christianity is the most ridiculous, the most absurd and bloody religion that has ever infected the world."

"Nothing can be more contrary to religion and the clergy than reason and common sense." [Philosophical Dictionary, 1764]
"Superstition, born of paganism and adopted by Judaism, invested the Christian Church from earliest times. All the fathers of the Church, without exception, believed in the power of magic. The Church always condemned magic, but she always believed in it: she did not excommunicate sorcerers as madmen who were mistaken, but as men who were really in communication with the devil." [Philosophical Dictionary, 1764]

"If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities."
"Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd."

Perhaps never really an atheist, nonetheless, Voltaire changed late in life into a fearless crusader against religious cruelty and injustice. In Voltaire’s time it was forbidden to be an Atheist. Admitting to be one, brought the death sentence. Hence he was a Diest for most of his life.

- Francois Marie Arouet "Voltaire", French author and playwright (1694-1778).

"Faith means not wanting to know what is true."

"So long as the priest, that professional negator, slanderer and poisoner of life, is regarded as a superior type of human being, there cannot be any answer to the question: What is truth?"

"The Christian faith from the beginning, is sacrifice: the sacrifice of all freedom, all pride, all self-confidence of spirit; it is at the same time subjection, a self-derision, and self-mutilation."

"All religions bear traces of the fact that they arose during the intellectual immaturity of the human race – before it had learned the obligations to speak the truth. Not one of them makes it the duty of its God to be truthful and understandable in his communications."

"The most serious parody I have ever heard was this: In the beginning was nonsense, and the nonsense was with God, and the nonsense was God."

"There is no devil and no hell. Thy soul will be dead even sooner than thy body: fear therefore nothing any more."

- Friedrich Nietzsche, German philologist and philosopher (1844-1900).

"During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in the clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry, and persecution."

"In no instance have . . . the churches been guardians of the liberties of the people."
"Religious bondage shackles and debilitates the mind and unfits it for every noble enterprise."

"What influence in fact have Christian ecclesiastical establishments had on civil society? In many instances they have been upholding the thrones of political tyranny. In no instance have they been seen as the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wished to subvert the public liberty have found in the clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate liberty, does not need the clergy."

- James Madison, American president and political theorist (1751-1836)

"Where do we find a precept in the Bible for Creeds, Confessions, Doctrines and Oaths, and whole carloads of other trumpery that we find religion encumbered with in these days?"

"The divinity of Jesus is made a convenient cover for absurdity."

"This would be the best of all possible worlds, if there were no religion in it."

- John Adams, U.S. President, Founding Father of the United States

"Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile."

-Kurt Vonnegut, American author

"Religion is excellent stuff for keeping common people quiet."

"Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich."

"All religions have been made by men."

-Napoleon Bonaparte, French emperor

"I don't think we're here for anything, we're just products of evolution. You can say 'Gee, your life must be pretty bleak if you don't think there's a purpose' but I'm anticipating a good lunch."

-Dr. James Watson, American biologist, (Discoverer of DNA.)

"Faith is believing something you know ain’t true."
"If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be -- a Christian."
"It (the Bible) is full of interest. It has noble poetry in it; and some clever fables; and some blood-drenched history; and some good morals; and a wealth of obscenity; and upwards of a thousand lies."
"A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows."
"Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography that exists in print anywhere. It makes Nero an angel of light … by contrast."
"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force."
"If there is a God, he is a malign thug."
"'In God We Trust.' I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true."
"It ain't the parts of the Bible that I can't understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
"Man is a marvelous curiosity . . . he thinks he is the Creator's pet . . . he even believes the Creator loves him; has a passion for him; sits up nights to admire him; yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks He listens. Isn't it a quaint idea." [Letters from the Earth]
Mr. Clemens was once asked whether he feared death. He said that he did not, in view of the fact that he had been dead for billions and billions of years before he was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Samuel Clemens "Mark Twain", American author and humorist (1835-1910).

These quotes and many others from:

http://www.wonderfulatheistsofcfl.org/Quotes.htm

As I said in the beginning, this is not intended to convert anyone. These are my own life experiences and choices, and no one else can have them, even if they wanted them. Faith is a very personal thing, and it is adjusted and readjusted throughout the lives of everyone, whether they know it or not. To try and convert someone is to try and force your own life upon them; not only an impossible venture, but also incredibly rude and ignorant.

Image credit to: Edward O. Wilson, from his book, "The Diversity of Life"; pgs: 134 and 136

Momma to Baby

2008-10-21T13:02:00.005-04:00

Don't go too fast, but be decisive. Be complicated, be simple. Be strong, but have compassion. Be firm, but have passion. Be proud of what you've done, not where you come from.

Let your choices define who you are, not your beliefs.

Be kind. Be wary. Be polite. This world was not created just for you, you were created just for this world.

Be open minded, but never back down. (I'll totally regret that one)

Be content with who you are. If not, change it. See the window in all three perspectives: through, on, and in.

If all your friends jump off a bridge, you jump first. Be independent, but have respect.

Live.
Laugh.
Love.
Learn.